Finance Gets Personal

January 9, 2009

CVS Caremark Corporation
Corporate Headquarters
One CVS Drive
Woonsocket, RI 02895

Dear Sir or Madam,

I began shopping at CVS regularly last May, and I have generally been pleased with your company’s customer service.

However, my experience tonight left much to be desired.

I came to the store with a list of specific items to purchase based on the deals I found by studying your weekly circular, CVS store coupons, Internet manufacturer coupons and manufacturer coupons from my local paper. Since sale prices were not marked on the shelves, I carefully consulted my list and checked the price of all my items at the ExtraCare scanner to make sure I was purchasing the correct items.

When I got to the register, the cashier rung up all my items, then started going through my coupons one by one. Without scanning any of them, she read each one and looked through all my bags to make sure I had purchased each item, and challenged some of my coupons (”Did you purchase three of these? I only see one.” “Yes, the other two in the second bag.”) Because I had a lot of coupons, this took quite a while.

Although I gave her my coupons in the correct order for them to go through the register correctly without causing any problems (store coupons, then manufacturer’s coupons, then ECBs), she then scanned them through in the opposite order, again reading each one aloud and hesitating before she scanned them.

I have enclosed a copy of my receipt, but here are the items I purchased and coupons I used:

• For the $10 ECB when you purchase $20 worth of Johnson’s products:
  1 Listerine Whitening Pen ($10), 1 Carefree 92 count liners ($4.50), 2 Stayfree 32 count pads ($4.50 each), 1 BandAid 20 count character bandages ($3).
  Total Before Coupons: $26.50.
  Coupons Used: CVS coupon for $5 off $25 of Johnson’s products (received in the mail), CVS coupon for $3 off Listerine Whitening Pen (from the CVS Beauty Book), manufacturer’s Internet coupon for $2 off Listering Whitening Pen, manufacturer’s buy one Stayfree product get one free coupon, manufacturer’s $1 off Carefree product
  Total After Coupons: $11

• For the $5 ECB when you purchase $15 worth of Bayer, Aleve or Alka-Seltzer products:
  3 Bayer 100 count tablets ($5 each)
  Total Before Coupons: $15
  Coupons Used: CVS coupon for $3 off any $15 purchase of FSA-eligible items (from CRT), CVS coupon for $2 off any $10 purchase of pain medication (from CRT), CVS coupon for $1 off any Bayer purchase (from CRT), 2 manufacturer’s $1 off Bayer product
  Total After Coupons: $7

• One Revlon Lip Gloss
  Originally priced at $7.99, on clearance for 50% off
  Total Before Coupons: $3.99
  Coupons Used: CVS coupon for $2 off any Revlon color cosmetic, manufacturer’s $2 off Revlon color cosmetic
  Total After Coupons: Free

• 2 Boxes of Hallmark Christmas Cards
  On clearance for 75% off

Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to use so many CVS coupons for the $5 ECB when you purchase $15 worth of Bayer products, but I thought that since I had four FSA-eligible products totaling $18, including $15 worth of pain medication, it would be OK. However, I have been wrong before, and I don’t argue with the cashier if the register beeps and I’m told the coupon cannot be accepted.

After giving me a hard time about having $4 worth of Revlon coupons for a product that cost $3.99 ($4, had the register rounded in the store’s favor), this cashier manually pushed through the CVS coupon for $2 off $10 in pain medication that beeped without saying anything about it.

Then, she came to my CVS coupon for $3 off $15 worth of FSA-eligible products coupon. “I don’t know what this is,” she said, and I tried to explain that it’s for medicine and other items that are indicated on the receipt. She tried to scan it, and it beeped. She said the register was telling her I didn’t purchase enough eligible products - that I had only $6.35 worth of eligible products. I tried to explain that this was probably because she scanned the manufacturer’s coupons first, so now the register thinks I only purchased $6 worth of FSA-eligible products, when I actually purchased $18. She then manually pushed through the coupon, saying, “I’ll do it this time, but don’t come to me next time you’re here because I’m not going to do it. Something is wrong. I don’t think this is right. You have too many coupons for the same thing.”

I responded that I should be able to use one CVS coupon and one manufacturer’s coupon for each product. She then said that because I was using so many coupons, I was basically getting paid to purchase the items (technically, I used $3.99 in ECBs, paid $20.42 in gift cards and cash, and received $15 in ECBs). “That’s why people shop here,” I said. “I come here every week and never have any problems. It’s completely legitimate.” She replied, “Maybe to you it’s legitimate.”

Obviously, I was angered and embarrassed, especially since there was now a line behind me.

While I understand that coupon fraud is a growing problem, I don’t expect to have my ethics questioned and be treated like a criminal when I am, in fact, a paying customer. Given these economic times and people’s increasing desire to save money, I would suggest you properly train your employees in your coupon policies and in basic customer service. If the number of people taking advantage of these deals is a threat to your bottom line, I would rather see your loyalty programs eliminated than be treated like I’m “getting away with something.”

If I have misused or misunderstood your coupon policy, please let me know. Also, I hope that you will personally contact the store’s manager about this issue. In the meantime, I have shared this letter with the readers of my personal finance blog, Finance Gets Personal: www.financegetspersonal.com.

Sincerely,
Finance Girl <—– no, that’s not really what I’m going to put!

If you come in with a wad of one dollar bills, I assume you’re either a waitress or a stripper. As soon as you leave, I’m washing my hands.

I know you think you’re smarter than me. Yes, I know how to spell “mortgage,” but maybe I should spell it wrong on your cashier’s check just to piss you off.

I’m sure you’re a nice person, but I really hate you, Avon Lady. First, you bring in 50 different checks to deposit whenever you come in. Your deposit slip never matches the actual total. And then you have the nerve to expect me to buy makeup from you!

I’m getting a contact high from you despite the bullet-proof glass. Nothing wrong with smoking a joint in the car on the way to the bank. But could you maybe roll down the windows next time?

I’ll be cleaning your kid’s sticky fingerprints off the glass tonight after we close. And your toddler pretending to be a blow fish - not cute.

Young attractive guy who comes in every Friday: I’m making a note of your account number so I can dig a little deeper into your finances later. DOB? Check. No overdrafts? Check. Joint account holder? Just your mom from when you opened the account in 6th grade - Check.

It’s getting close to impossible to cash your entire paycheck using only the “old” twenty dollar bills. Yes, I know that you think the government has implanted tracking devices in all the new twenty dollar bills. But they are also phasing out the old ones!

I wish you would teach your children not to put paperclips and Chuck E Cheese coins in their piggy bank. Once I finally shake everything out of your ceramic pig’s tiny, tiny hole, something gets stuck in the coin machine and I’m back there for twenty minutes while your kid slobbers on my teller window.

Creepy old man: I know the only reason you come to the bank everyday is to stalk my coworker. She is currently hiding in the bathroom and sent me out to help you. She’s “out to lunch,” and no, I have no idea when she’ll be back.

To the old lady who threw her driver’s license at me: I’m pretty sure you’ll be in hell soon. Maybe I can help you get there a little more quickly. But again, I do apologize. I’m only trying to protect your money from any effing stranger that walks through the door.

I don’t think you’re anything special if you have a lot of money. You see, I’m a bank teller. I see people with money every day. And typically, the more money someone has, the more of a prick they are to me.

Looking at your account is as awkward for me as it is for you, my friendly acquaintance. So, Mrs. Templeton, I’m dating your son. How’s that IRA rollover working out for you?

I still think “Hello” is a perfectly acceptable greeting, no matter the time of day. But thank you for informing me that “Good Morning” is the only polite greeting prior to 11 a.m.

I’ve never rolled a bag of pennies without finding a pube or two. How on earth do they always end up in the coin machine’s penny collector? Are people rolling around naked in piles of pennies? Or are there just some extremely poorly paid and poorly groomed strippers coming to this bank?

For the past week, I’ve been getting daily messages on my answering machine for Shawn Connely. Now, I don’t know who Shawn Connely is, but he hasn’t had this phone number for at least two and a half years.

My husband was off work Friday, and answered the phone. The woman asked for Shawn, and my husband’s name is John. So, John thought it was for him for a minute, and then realized they wanted Shawn. So he politely told them they had the wrong number.

Well, I took off work on Monday, and my stepson answered the phone. He told them that John wasn’t here, could he take a message? Well, my stepson is not the best at message taking, and I didn’t see why whoever it was couldn’t talk to me, so I made him give me the phone. The woman asked to speak to Shawn Connely (my stepson had misheard the name). I told her she has the wrong number, and she’s like, “So there’s no one named Shawn Connely at this residence?” No, lady! Then, she has the nerve to ask me if I know Shawn. At this point, I started getting snippy with her and asked if this was a debt collector. Of course, they aren’t allowed to say. She just said that this was (insert generic corporate-sounding company name here).

This is not the first experience I’ve had with debt collectors calling for someone who used to have our phone number, but these people obviously think we’re lying because we keep thinking they’re asking for John. I’m off work again today, and if they call me, I am going to go off on them!