Acting Pro Se is Such a Pain
Recently, my husband and I have been diverting our regular debt payments to savings to take care of some potential foundation problems. The longer the money sits there, however, the more ideas we have for things we “need” to spend money on.
Here’s one example:
My husband’s ex-wife, who used to have joint physical and legal custody of their son, decided in July 2006 that she was going to move across town and concentrate more fully on her education by limiting her visits to every other weekend. Basically, my husband would have full physical custody and she would return the child support money he sends to the state every month. But of course, she didn’t want to make any legal changes (welfare fraud, anyone?).
My husband told her that the change would have to be legal, or no deal. Fine, she said.
Nearly two years later, we still haven’t hired a lawyer because the estimates we’ve gotten say it’s going to run about $1500-$1800, and we’ve been unable to figure out how to do what should be a simple process ourselves.
As far as we can tell from the hours and hours we’ve spent researching the situation, my husband needs to file a motion to modify the divorce decree and submit a new parenting plan (which has already been written and approved by the ex). However, no one can seem to tell us how to actually go about filing all the necessary paperwork. Ask a court clerk, and they all say, “I’m sorry, but we’re not allowed to dispense legal advice.” JFC, if administrative help constitutes legal advice, then give me a freaking law degree!
We’ve visited the law library, bought books from Nolo and checked the city and state courts websites. Most of the pro se information available focuses on defending yourself in criminal court, and the rest reads like a bunch of conflicting goo with no instructions for the actual filing process.
Clearly, we need to get this taken care of in one way or another eventually, because we are in a constant cycle of paying $350 and not being paid back until the next $350 is due (and sometimes after a second $350 has been paid). But more importantly, we are taking the risk that she won’t change her mind and pretend like this informal arrangement never occured.
I was an honors pre-law student in college, so it’s not like I’m a complete idiot (although I’m starting to feel like one…). You’d think our court system would be able to give people better advice than “consult a lawyer.” What gives?
Photo Credit: Library visitor by umjanedoan, used under Creative Commons licensing
