Finance Gets Personal

I’m a planner, a scheduler. I do laundry on Sunday. I pay bills on Tuesday. I give my stepson piano lessons on Thursday.

I find that by assigning tasks specific days of the week, they’re more likely to get done (maybe that’s why my house is never clean - I haven’t assigned a day for that).

Now, I’m not going to turn down an invitation because it’s “bill night,” but I try to stick to my schedule as much as possible.

Photo Credit: Day 223…skills to pay the bills by bandita, used under Creative Commons licensing

It’s Saturday night and your team isn’t in the Final Four (or didn’t even get invited to the tournament - sigh).

Let’s find a way to drown your sorrows…

Presenting: Financial “I Never” with Finance Girl

In order to play Financial “I Never,” you first need to find the hard liquor of your choice.

There, that will do nicely.

Next, read the following statements. For each “I never” that you have done, take a shot. I’ll play along too. Here we go…

I’ve never bounced a check:

Damn.

I’ve never carried a balance on my credit cards:

Damn again.

I’ve never taken a cash advance on my credit card:

Who’s drinking now, bitches?

I’ve never borrowed money from relatives:

Give me a break, I was 17.

I’ve never co-signed a loan:

Thank God!

I’ve never financed a new car:

Whoopsies!

I’ve never had an Old Navy credit card:

Take that!

I’ve never taken a payday loan:

What do you think I am, stupid? Don’t answer that.

I’ve never borrowed money against my 401k:

Please - if I wanted to borrow money, I’d use my credit card. duh.

I’ve never had a home equity loan or home equity line of credit:

How else are you supposed to buy a house with no down payment?

I’ve never bought a pair of $100 jeans:

Well, I did once, but I returned them. Does that count? Fine…

I’ve never taken a refund anticipation loan:

Please. I’m too cheap to go to H&R Block in the first place.

I’ve never paid for a groceries with a credit card:

A girl’s gotta eat!

I’ve never charged up a bunch of concert tickets on my credit card and not gotten paid back for all of them:

If you tell me you’re going to go, you better damn well go! If you don’t go, you still owe me for the ticket (and the convenience fees - Ticketmaster ain’t cheap!). It’s also not my job to find someone else to buy your ticket.

Sorry, drunken rant…

I’ve never gambled:

I am probably the cheapest gambler ever to visit Vegas though. And I’m too scared to play the tables.

I’ve never signed up for a credit card to get a free t-shirt:

Dude, it said “College” on it. Like Animal House, you know? And I was in college! Get it?

I’ve never signed up for a “pay no interest ’til 2030″ credit card in order to buy a big-screen TV:

Watching Kansas or North Carolina lose tonight will be so much better in high-def.

Sorry, I meant to say, “I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find someone to hold my hair.

Photo Credits: no chase, bitches! and jr and amanda by theogeo, used under Creative Commons licensing

My posts were included in three carnivals this week. Check them out:

• Debt as a Symptom of Sexual Addiction was an editor’s pick in the Carnival of Personal Finance, hosted by Stock Trading To Go. My post on Charity Showers was also included (I think I screwed something up with the submissions this week - I’m not really trying to “stuff the ballot”).
• When Did You Finally Hit Rock Bottom and Decide to Get Out of Debt for Good? was included in the Carnival of Money Stories, hosted by Chief Family Officer.
• My Mattress is Pathetic was included in the Money Hacks Carnival, hosted by Bible Money Matters.
• I forgot to submit anything to the Festival of Frugality, but you should read it anyway. Flexo of Consumerism Commentary, the carnival host, announces that he is quitting his day job to blog full-time.
• After Hitting Rock Bottom, An Epiphany! was not included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction, but I’m guessing it’s because I referred to Dave Ramsey as a crazy bastard.

Here are some posts from the various carnivals that you might enjoy:

• Don’t Get Scammed! Reduce the Risk of Identity Theft from the The Digerati Life. Now, this is what Dave Ramsey should be focusing more of his attention on.
• Five Ways Fantasy Baseball is Like Personal Finance from Free From Broke. I’d like to draft Warren Buffett, please.
• The Lazy Cheapskate’s Guide to Saving the Planet from Five Cent Nickel. Call me stupid, but I didn’t know cruise control saves gas.
• Even More Reasons Why You Can’t Trust Your Real Estate Agent (the follow up to Why You Can’t Trust Real Estate Agents When Buying a House and Why You Can’t Trust Real Estate Agents When Selling a House) from Quest For Four Pillars. Things that make you go hmmm…

Photo Credit: exhibition-ism by striatic, used under Creative Commons licensing

My husband read my post on Debt as a Symptom of Sexual Addiction and sent me a lovely e-card today…

Here are some good finance-related e-cards from the same site…

Ah, spring…that lovely time of year when I’m again reminded that buying this house was perhaps not such a good idea.

What do they say? April showers bring May foundation leaks?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Our naive first-time homebuyer, no-down-payment, 2005 height-of-the-housing market purchase has quickly turned into a real-life version of The Money Pit.

Here’s the plot synopsis:

May 2005
Home-buying fever hit us hard. All our other friends had already bought their first homes and were urging us to do the same. “But we don’t have a down payment,” I protested. “Oh, you don’t have to have a down payment anymore - we didn’t.” Because we were making $80,000 and living in a rented townhouse with a brown recluse problem, I didn’t need much convincing.

July 17, 2005
My boss recommended a realtor, we got preapproved for a loan and it was off to the races. As part of my husband’s court-ordered mediation with his bipolar ex, we had agreed not to move out of my stepson’s elementary school district if she would agree to let him attend its far superior schools. At the time, we didn’t realize that his elementary school district encompassed only two subdivisions: one preferred by the city’s professional football and baseball players, and a small neighborhood of homes built in the seventies. After broadening the search to a neighboring elementary school that would allow us to apply for an in-district transfer, we visited eight homes in our price range and made an offer on the fifth.

When viewing the home, we had noticed a few hairline cracks in the foundation wall near the window, but our realtor told us it was very common and probably not something to worry about. Besides, the home inspection would alert us to any issues.

July 25, 2005
The home is inspected by our realtor-recommended home inspector. She does not think the foundation cracks are a problem. Her only recommended repairs are to have the homeowners fix the seeping kitchen faucet and re-attach the guest bedroom’s smoke alarm.

Slight settlement noted. There are cracks in the south wall on the outside and inside of the basement and one at the NW corner. These indicate slight settlement. Monitor for future movement and maintain exterior drainage. No repairs recommended at this time.

August 2005
Less than one week after closing on the house, the city is deluged with rain storms and a large puddle forms on our foundation’s floor. We are freaking out, and my husband is convinced that the previous owners ripped us off by not disclosing the problem. I call ourrealtor. She says that she’ll call the other realtor , but that there’s probably nothing we can do because the previous homeowners only lived there for two years, and they really might not have ever had a problem. Besides, it’s been an extremely dry summer followed by a ton of rain, so a little water in the basement is nearly unavoidable. We probably just need to check the slope of our yard and then call The Crack Team to seal up the crack for good.

Summer 2006
We do some work on the drainage under the deck and re-grade the dirt near the foundation. No signs of water entry. The Crack Team gives us an estimate of $800 for sealing the main crack, and $500 more for the hairline cracks by the windows. Since we don’t have the money and think we may have fixed the problem, we decide to wait a year or so.

Summer-Fall 2007
A noticeable crack develops at the peak of our living area’s cathedral ceiling. Doors are not closing easily, and small hairline cracks are developing above some interior windows. Water occasionally enters the basement, though there has only been one other instance of a puddle on the floor.

We look into having a structural engineer assess the situation for $300-$350. My husband’s aunt and uncle recommend that we call a reputable foundation repair company and get a free evaluation instead. I am worried that this is a conflict of interest and that we won’t get honest feedback, but my concerns are laid to rest when the company looks at the house and says there’s probably nothing to be worried about. The foundation cracks are minor settlements that have likely stabilized , and the ceiling crack is the result of extreme temperature fluctuations between the outside and inside of the house in a spot where not much insulation can fit. Their advice is to seal the foundation cracks with a special caulk, then pour buckets of water outside the foundation in the spring to see if the crack leaks. If the problem persists, it may be due to pressure from ground water, and they can give us an estimate for a water lock system (typically around $3,000).

March 2008
A new discovery: A long, winding crack has formed on our foundation floor, and it looks as if some water came up from under the slab in the last week or so. My husband is ready to the foundation repair company and have the water lock system installed as soon as possible, so I’ve temporarily cancelled our monthly debt snowball payments. However, I think we’re going to call in a structural engineer to diagnose the problem before we start shelling out money for repairs.

So here’s the short list of home repairs that will need to be made within the 5-6 years that we are planning to get completely out of debt in: Evaluate/Fix Foundation Problem, Paint House, Replace Carpet, Replace Roof, Replace Water Heater, Replace Heat Pump, Replace Appliances…oh, I can’t go on. Is this the dirty little secret of home ownership: you never stop paying?